Solving Mysterious Cases since 5 a.m.

pseudonarrative:

Me: *turns out lights in bathroom*
Me: *faces mirror*
Me: pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza

I did it. I summoned Pizza.

pseudonarrative:

Be mine.

pseudonarrative:

pseudonarrative:

I wish I was pretty.

There’s a difference between being pretty and being able to take a good selfie/being good at photoshop.

Makeup also makes a world of difference. I don’t even feel comfortable with people seeing me without makeup on. If I felt “pretty” with no makeup on, I’d be far happier with myself.

pseudonarrative:

Idn’t this cyoot? I think I’ve about convinced him to get a tumblr. Muahahaha.

Hey, dis guy now has tumblr. Follow him.
http://www.schrodingerscatdog.tumblr.com

mydogsnokes:

stealingyourpension:

mydogsnokes:

why put cookie dough in the oven when you can put it in your mouth

because I don’t want salmonella….

then don’t eat salmon….

The don’t eat salmon, Ella.